Aside from my daily social posts that allow glimpses into my life, i tend to keep my thoughts, opinions, and words to myself.

          If u allow me to dive deeper, you'll see that i, like everyone else, struggle. I'm imperfect. Flawed. Damaged and broken at times.

          I wish my thoughts weren't self-defeating at times. But when i leap into wormholes of utter negativity, its difficult to find my way back out.

          I'm not happy a lot of the time, and I feel shame about that.

          The light is fading fast; its gotten significantly colder, and the people who were around me have drifted away, disappearing quicker than the sun that now hides behind the hilltops.

          As I grow older, i wish for more of these snapshots of joy, to be able to string them together into a long line of happiness. To remember how life should feel.

          I'm leaving a lot of my life up to chance these days. I'm leading a march of self-discovery into a thick forest, with no compass to guide me. Moments of glory, such as the one just described, let me know that I'm heading into the right direction. What direction that is, i don't precisely know. i still feel so fucking lost, but that's alright. That's just how it is now. I'll keep moving forward because standing still is not an option. U don't find your happy places in life without putting one foot in front of the other.

          No one understands my sadness. How could anyone ever understand me? I immediately isolate myself, thinking no one will understand, so why bother to explain.